The Science of Love and Sexual Attraction

The Science of Love and Sexual Attraction

Joseph Brunn pic

My Story

 This page gives details of the story of how the theory of Factor B was formulated.

I don't think I had a lot of Factor B when I was around 16 years old. I had virtually no contact with girls up to the age of 16. I went to an all-boys school. I didn't have female relatives of my own age.

My first interest in girls came when I had just turned 16. To go to school which was 5 miles away a bus was laid on with about 15 boys from my school ranging from age 11 to 16. On this bus there were girls from another school of the same religious denomination as me i.e. Catholic who travelled the same route as us but then had to go a further 4 miles to get to their school. These girls were in the age range of 11 to 14.

Without bragging about it, I happened to be very good looking when I was 16. I started to get a lot of attention off some of the older girls on this bus. This went on for two terms (6 months). This really was my first experience of girls being enjoyable to be with though I did not acquire a girlfriend out of this situation.

One day in 1972 when I was 22 a thought occurred to me which lead me to the formulation of the theory of Factor B.

I was able to acquire a quantity of Factor B just by walking in the streets of the city that I worked in when I was 22. I was able to do this with eye contact with females (I am male) and the interchange that occurs when a look of admiration is passed between a male and a female as you walk in a public place. I was only able to do this because of a unique set of circumstances which were present at the time (which will take some explaining). I was only able to do it for about 3 weeks and then things changed so that I didn't acquire any more Factor B.

What happened with me was that as I was walking around the city and making eye contact with females that I found attractive to look at. For various reasons the intensities of the looks (energy) that they were giving me was way above the energy that I had in the form of Factor B. There therefore was a transference of energy (Factor B) from them to me because of this difference and only because of certain very unique factors which were present at that time. Thus I was able to acquire Factor B. This carried on for a few weeks until my level of Factor B wasn't too dissimilar to the levels of Factor B that the females had who were looking at me. The amount or volume of Factor B that a person has is directly related to the intensity with which he/she can direct a look of admiration to a member of the opposite sex in particular through eye contact. As there was not such a big difference in energy levels (Factor B) any more this phenomenon of me gaining Factor B didn't occur any more. That is there was no “transference of” Factor B

Now you might well think everybody can do this. Not true. Indeed there will be some people reading this who have not experienced the pleasure, through this kind of  eye contact, from a member of the opposite sex (and a complete stranger at that) giving them that special look that you get which almost feels like a beam is being sent out through the eyes. For those of you who have experienced this special eye contact that you get with a member of the opposite sex you won't be able to acquire more Factor B than you have already have got because the level of Factor B that you have will not be too dissimilar to the level of Factor B of the member of the opposite sex who is looking at you. There will be the rare occurrence of someone who is reading this who has experienced this briefly on the odd occasion i.e. acquiring some Factor B. This will only have happened to someone who is stunningly good looking and has had an admiring look through eye contact and because of the intensity of the look that is being given them they will experience the occurrence of turning away and getting the feeling that they have acquired something. They have acquired Factor B.

There is a difference between what I have just said in the last sentence and the stunningly good looking person who receives a look of admiration through eye contact and matches that look and then turns away with a feeling of pleasure but does not receive Factor B. The pleasure has come from the communication of a mutual-admiration look through eye contact. In the first scenario because of the differences of Factor B the stunningly good looking person would receive Factor B which would change the quantity of Factor B he or she had. In the second example the stunningly good looking person would get a nice feeling from the exchange of eye contact but would not get any Factor B. The reason why there is ever an exchange of Factor B is to do with the differences of Factor B of the two people making eye contact and the intensity of which they are looking at the other person.

Unfortunately in the scenario above with the stunning person acquiring Factor B it means that the person who had been looking at them would lose some Factor B. The receiver of the Factor B would feel a measure of enjoyment whilst the person who lost the Factor B would feel a measure of non-enjoyment. These occurrences of losing and gaining Factor B are rare but you might possibly have experienced this once or twice in your lifetime where you have looked at a member of the opposite sex admiringly (usually someone exceptionally attractive or good looking) and they have turned away in such a way that you didn't like it. Your thoughts towards this person after this occurrence are not so admiring. You lost a little bit of Factor B.

Factor B can be gained and lost through conversation with members of the opposite sex though this is rare. The most extreme example of this that I can think of is when you find yourself in a situation where you are having a disagreement in your conversation with a member of the opposite sex and it turns into an angry argument. Factor B is like territory and you will defend it to the bitter end. You don't want to lose it. Normally situations don't get to this point. This point about losing or gaining Factor B through normal conversation needs more explanation which I will do later on. "Factor A" can also be gained or lost through normal conversation with members of the same sex though again this is rare.

Unfortunately sometime between the age of 16 and 21 I think I must have lost some Factor B as at 21 I started wearing contact lenses and could see perfectly but did not perceive that I was getting admiring glances from females in public places. When I started wearing contact lenses I knew women/girls would be looking at me when I was walking in the street but I did not look at them much and definitely did not make that “eye contact” where it feels as though your eyes are locked together – this was to come later with the acquisition of a substantial amount of Factor B due to an unusual set of circumstances. You could compare this ability to recognise that a member of the opposite sex is looking at you with "that certain look" through eye contact, as if you were a radio receiver. If you have no or little Factor B then you are like a radio receiver (i.e. an ordinary radio) that is not capable of picking up the signal. If you have a fair quantity of Factor B then you could be compared to a radio receiver that is in good condition and can receive signals easily even the weakest ones. The corollary of this is that in the terms of the use of the eyes in this situation you can also be compared to a radio transmitter. If you have no or very little Factor B then in the "eye contact situation" talked about here you would not send out a very strong signal through the eyes to a member of the opposite sex. You would not send out any signal if you had no Factor B.

I used to walk a distance of about 300 yards from the office I worked in with a colleague to our staff restaurant. This walk was through the streets of the city where I worked. I had been doing this walk on a daily basis for about a year whilst wearing glasses. This colleague, I knew, was considered to be fairly good looking by females. As we walked these 300 yards I knew that whilst I was wearing glasses he would be getting all the looks from passing females. The glasses in those days (more than 40 years ago) didn't exactly look very good. Glasses now have improved dramatically and do not detract too much from a person's natural good looks. The glasses I wore were a bit on the plain side. When I started wearing contact lenses I knew things would change as we walked on our journey to the staff restaurant in the respect of I would be getting admiring looks from females (not bragging I'm being factual).

Anyway back to the point where a thought occurred to me in early 1972 which lead to the formulation of the Factor B theory. I put the following three things together in my head to try something out on the streets of the city where I worked.

1. When I was about 18 I was walking through the busy streets of a city one Saturday with my brother who was age 20, (also quite good looking) when he suddenly said “I’ve just had a fantastic look off a girl”. Now I was short-sighted and didn't wear my glasses so this had never happened to me but his statement made an impression on me.

2. In 1969 I met someone who had read some works of a psychologist who had written that when two people fall in love they send out an energy beam to each other through the eyes. Now I thought this was interesting and it impinged on me. I then sort of stored it away in my memory.

3. I was good looking.

It occurred to me that if whilst walking on a busy street with lots of women/girls passing by, then I would as I approached a female who was coming towards me not make eye contact until the very last second and then look at the female to see if they were looking at me (not vain, it actually happened this way). I thought then maybe I would get the fantastic look that my brother had got when he mentioned it in the street. By the way I now know the look that he got off the girl must have been so strong that he probably gained some “Factor B”. I say probably because this is not necessarily the case as he could have just got a long continuous strong gaze from this lady which could have also given rise to his comment about “getting a fantastic look”. The two occurrences are entirely different. Only you know which one has happened to you as will become evident when I relate what occurred with me over a three week period when I tried out this “theory”.

Just to digress a little to explain why I thought my idea might bear fruit there was an incident with a friend of mine (when I was 21) in a restaurant. He was very good with the ladies and after we had been sitting at the table waiting for our food he suddenly said to me “there is a waitress over there who, no matter how long I look at her does not turn away her gaze. If I want to I could sleep with her tonight.” This impressed me as in my state of having little Factor B gazes of that nature did not happen to me even though as I subsequently found out in February 1972 I was actually better looking than him (not bragging, just being factual) and when I acquired a fair quantity of Factor B things like that did happen to me and I did hold eye contact with females for longish periods of time.

After I had acquired the Factor B things happened which confirmed my theory about one of the ways that Factor B showed itself was through eye contact with a member of the opposite sex. In May 1972 (after I had acquired a fair quantity of Factor B) I had a girl friend and when I was sitting with her in a public house (bar – America) she suddenly said to me that a man had been looking at her continuously and that she had had to look away in the end because she got embarrassed. She was not complaining about the look that she got just the fact that she reached a point where she couldn't hold the gaze any longer. There are people male and female reading this, who will have experienced this themselves and there will also be people reading this who have not experienced this at all, primarily because they have little or no Factor B or they have not experienced a “ look of admiration” through eye contact because they are not physically attractive enough.

Back to my speculations about getting some nice looks off females. It was time to put my idea into practice so the next dinner hour I had in the city centre I went for a walk in the busy lunch time of the city centre where I worked. . Shortly I could see a nice looking female approaching me from about 30 yards away who would if we both kept our course of direction pass each other within a few feet. I did not make eye contact with this girl until I was a few feet away. When I looked up and looked at her eyes, she was looking directly at me with a strong gaze. I held her gaze for a few seconds and then felt as though I had to turn away. Now here is the unusual phenomenon. I felt as though I had acquired something. The same thing happened a minute or two later – There was an approaching girl – no eye contact until the last second – looked at the girl – she is looking at me with a strong gaze – our eyes lock momentarily – I turn away – I feel as though I have acquired something – it was a good feeling

This was only happening because of a unique set of circumstances. The circumstances were these;

1) I HAD VERY LITTLE FACTOR B

 2) BECAUSE OF MY GOOD LOOKS I WAS GETTING STRONG ADMIRING GAZES FROM GIRLS.

 3) BECAUSE OF THE DIFFERENCES IN LEVELS OF FACTOR B BETWEEN ME AND THE GIRLS SENDING OUT THE ADMIRING GAZES THERE WAS A TRANSFERENCE OF THIS “ENERGY” FROM THEM TO ME.

It is important to point out here that for the previous 9 months I had been wearing contact lenses and had walked past hundreds of girls/women yet I did not engage in eye contact with any female that I walked passed. The only possible exception probably would have been if someone absolutely stunning walked passed and even then it would have been me looking at her and not getting a “look back”. As you will read later on, everything was to completely change once I had acquired a fair quantity of Factor B. Once I had a fair quantity of Factor B I would start getting eye contact with females from maybe 40 yards away sometimes. It amazes me that you can make this sort of contact and recognize that someone is attractive from that distance.

Now there are some males reading this who will never have had a problem with looking at girls/women and having this type of “eye contact” and it will feel unreal to them that anybody has ever had a problem with this. We tend to think that everybody experiences things the same as ourselves. This is not true. We are all built differently and have had different experiences. One difference between people is the amount of Factor B that a person has. And this determines with this particular aspect of a person's make up how long they are able to look at a member of the opposite sex with eye contact. A person's natural good (or bad) looks is also a factor as to whether this occurs and for how long. Yet there are people who are stunningly good looking who (due to having little or no Factor B) are not able to engage in this type of eye contact. Just as an aside here I did know a waitress in a hotel that I started to work in who was stunningly good looking. The colleague who I used to work with used to try and flirt with her sometimes and I would be standing at the side of him while he was doing this. She would have her attention totally fixed on him. Now my normal experience of situations like this is that a girl, in this situation would normally glance over towards me every now and again, even though he was doing all the flirting. I didn't feel the need to say anything as he was going "hell for leather" trying to "chat her up". I must say I did find this a bit unusual (i.e. the fact that she was not giving me any attention at all) but because she was so good looking I was content to just look at her whilst my colleague attempted to charm her. About a week later my colleague said to me that he was going to give up talking to this stunning blond girl as she was always moaning when he tried to talk to her. She left the hotel where all three of us were working and then it transpired that we found out (not known whilst she worked at the hotel) that she was a lesbian. This would explain why she didn't even glance in my direction when the two of us had been standing opposite her. It would also explain why he gave up on flirting with her because he was not getting the right responses off her. She had no Factor B.

I did get the opportunity to speak to her about her lesbianism after she had left the hotel and she said she had had an experience with a man in as much as she said she had been very close to having sex with him but not quite. She had resigned herself to the fact that she was not attracted to men. This does not mean she had to be sexually attracted to women. As I have mentioned before sometimes in life we have to live with a disadvantage that most people don't "seem" to have. It can be less than average looks, intelligence, sporting skills, and all the varied talents that some people have or even having the disadvantage of not having a stable family upbringing. You have to make the best of the cards that are dealt to you in life. You can change things but sometimes you can't, and have to work your way around it. I think a lot of the trouble and strife in life occurs when people's differences in abilities and expectations are brought to their attention so that they think they have failed in some way. Take the example of someone who never forms a successful relationship with a member of the opposite sex and it is brought to their attention in such a way that they feel obliged to get married to someone they don't love or even get on with all that well, just to avoid the social pressure that some societies place on individuals. It says it in the Christian bible "Some people are not made for marriage". I don't know whether there is a comparable statement to this in the Koran of the Muslim faith or any other major religion.

Back to my story. Now it needs mentioning here that what I was experiencing here with turning away and feeling good ( because I had acquired a little bit of Factor B from the lady) is very much different to what happened in similar circumstances about 3 weeks later. Once I had acquired a fair quantity of Factor B I could now establish eye contact with a female and “hold the gaze” something which I was not able to do before acquiring a fair quantity of Factor B. Holding a “gaze” from a member of the opposite sex is enjoyable in its own right and you feel as though you are communicating your feelings just with the eye contact. It is a mutual look of admiration.

SCALE OF EMOTION WITH EYE CONTACT

I would like to point out here that there is a sort of scale of looks (with the eyes) from good at one end of the scale to bad at the other end of the scale that can be exchanged between two human beings. I will take the example of members of the opposite sex first. You could go from the pleasant strong gazes that I have been talking about here to a “hard” stare between two people who strongly dislike each other. The scale would be based on the amount of energy (Factor B) that was emanating from the eyes between the two people (of the opposite sex). Of course the scale could apply to members of the same sex but the intensity would not be the same in most cases. I would estimate that a look of admiration for a member of the opposite sex is about ten times the intensity that would occur if a member of one sex chose to send an admiring glance to a member of the same sex (using Factor A).Indeed I was watching a girl once who was watching her lesbian partner working as a supervisor on a check out in a supermarket with a very intense gaze. She was using Factor A to do this.

If we are talking about Bi-sexuals then a bi-sexual can either use Factor A or Factor B to look at the respective sex i.e. if they were gazing admiringly at a same sex person they would use Factor A. If they were gazing at a member of the opposite sex they would use Factor B. Someone without or with very little Factor B cannot look with any degree of intensity at a member of the opposite sex in an admiring way. For sure there could be a scale of from say, a look of hate to a look of admiration to a member of the same sex. I have seen this happen that is a look of admiration between two members of the same sex when it is basically one way and the person being admired has some special qualities such as a sports star or show business star. This type of admiring look is usually not reciprocated by the person being admired primarily because they can't see the individual's look of admiration. I am thinking here of when I have seen people in an audience of one particular sex sending out a look of admiration to someone on stage of the same sex. When that intensity of look of admiration is reciprocated from a same sex person it is going into the realms of homosexuality. I have had males (I am male) once or twice in my life give me strong hard long looks that I have no intention of returning. Funnily enough I did once have a very heterosexual male say to me (when I was 23) in a lift with several people when we were all going out to party in the local town “you are so good looking I almost fancy you myself). Not bragging, just telling you what happened. It was sort of a "back handed compliment". This lad was totally heterosexual.

FORCE (and Factor A and B)

I have puzzled as to what is the purpose in our make-up of Factor A and Factor B. I think it is an evolutionary survival thing to do with procreation and survival.

One characteristic I have noticed about these two types of energy is that the more you have of each type of energy either Factor A or Factor B the less you give into or are affected by “force”. In the 6 months after acquiring Factor B I didn't buckle anywhere nearly as easily as I had done before when "force" was being used towards me.  By “force” I mean non-physical force like anger, shouting, intention etc. directed by one person (male or female) towards another person (male or female). This may well be through evolution, that we have these two types of energy. You can see it still in the animal kingdom where the strongest stag (proved by physical contests with other stags) in the group of deer becomes the alpha male and gets first choice to reproduce with the female deer.

In the human world reason predominates in our interaction with our fellow human beings whereas in the animal world, force tends to decide as to who is the leader of the particular animal group.

Here is an example of how having a large quantity of Factor A, in this case, enabled me to deal with force being directed towards me.

When I was 23 I was with a girlfriend at a disco and we were both sitting at the side of the dance area. A man on his own walked past me and trod quite heavily on one of my toes. Normally people would apologise in this situation. He did not, so I said something to him as he carried on walking by. His reaction to me was to turn around and stare hard at me. I stared back with no fear. It was a staring "match". He eventually, in what seemed like quite a long staring match between the two of us, turned away. His stare didn't bother me in the least. I would not have been able to "stare back at him" like I did, before the "three weeks" mentioned before. It's as though you acquire a sort of mental strength which is useful in situations where people are being aggressive. Much to my surprise my girlfriend who had been sitting at the side of me said “I thought he was going to hit you". He was obviously giving me a hard stare from her point of view. From my point of view although I knew he was staring at me, it was not bothering me as "I was giving as good as I was getting". I wasn't perturbed at all by his staring. That is the benefit of having a good volume of, in this case Factor A. This could have been just as easily been a “Factor B” situation if the person who trod on my foot was a female. If it had been a female who was staring hard at me in this situation, in the past I would have not been able to return the ”hard stare” as I had very little Factor B to do it with.

If you get shouted at or hard-stared at by a member of the opposite sex and you have either little or no Factor B you will buckle under this "force". In civilised societies force is frowned on in normal communication and "reason" is used most of the time. But there are occasions in life when people use force both physical and "mental force" (e.g. shouting or threatening). There are occasions in life when you have to actually deal with a situation by using physical force - say if you were being "mugged" or somebody tried to attack you. Even in this "civilised world" you do have to have a certain amount of physical strength to deal with such a situation. Fortunately they are rare in my experience though there have been occasions when people have only backed down when you have shown that you are prepared to fight physically if they are not prepared to be reasonable. This situation occurs sometimes when you are being attacked (e.g. shouted at) with "mental force" rather than physical force. This is when a good volume of Factor A or B comes in handy. If you have markedly lesser quantity than the person who is using the "mental force" you would not be able to fight back. Of course there is the situation where say for example where you had a boss in a workplace who tended to shout at his employees, or persons working under his supervision. You might resist from shouting back at this boss because you want to keep your job although you had the capability of shouting back (i.e. a good volume of Factor A if it was a same sex boss or a good volume of Factor B if it was an opposite sex boss).

Now back to me walking through the streets acquiring Factor B. I carried on experiencing this for the rest of my lunch break. This “acquiring” happened with several encounters with girls during this lunch break. The next day the same thing happened again in my lunch break. This went on for about 3 weeks until I reached a stage where it wasn't happening any more. It got to a stage where I would delay looking at an attractive girl (like I had done before) and then make eye contact in the last few yards where we crossed paths but instead of turning away I would make eye contact for 2 or 3 seconds and then turn away and it was enjoyable in a different way. Right at the start of this 3 week period previously (when I had virtually no Factor B). I would maybe look for half a second and then turn away. Because I had acquired Factor B it gave me the ability to look longer at a female who was looking at me (i.e our eyes were locked together for longer). It was very pleasant to make this eye contact but I didn't feel as though I had acquired anything in terms of Factor B. The difference here now was this;

1. When I turned away before (when I had little Factor B) I felt as though I had acquired something (which was Factor B). Unfortunately if I acquired Factor B this means that the girl would have lost a small amount of Factor B i.e the same quantity. It is the nature of this situation that if you acquire Factor B from a girl she loses that same amount of Factor B and vice versa if it is a situation where it is the female who acquires the Factor B.

2. Now after 3 weeks because I had a fair quantity of Factor B I didn’t turn away but enjoyed the experience of “locking eyes” with the girl and then turned away. I didn’t acquire any Factor B but felt good (because of the eye-lock – it’s a communication). The girl didn’t lose any Factor B but she would have felt good for that communication through the eye contact. It's a non-verbal way of communicating between members of the opposite sex to show interest. David Frost, a well-known British journalist who died in August 2013 made the comment himself when being interviewed that there were incidents on his trans-atlantic flights to America where he would get to know female passengers by first establishing eye contact by which he would get either a “green light” or not which indicated the level of interest of the female he was attempting to get to know. (For people from non-English speaking countries this is a reference to traffic lights at road junctions which indicate you can proceed in your vehicle when the traffic light is green)

Now some of you might be tempted to go out in the busy streets of your city or town and think “ I will see if that happens to me if I walk through the busy streets”. It will almost certainly not happen to you unless the three components of why it happened with me are present as mentioned above. It will have happened to a small degree to some people who are exceptionally good looking. This person (male or female) will have experienced that sequence of your eyes locking together and then at some point “you” turn away (not the other person) and you feel good because you have acquired a small quantity of Factor B.  The other scenario here is you might turn away first and have had an enjoyable “interlocking of eyes” and you just feel good and you have not gained any Factor B.  With the first scenario if you gain Factor B then the person you have been looking at will lose a small quantity of Factor B and feel not so good after the interchange. In the second scenario you both turn away and it has been enjoyable for both parties and no exchange of Factor B has occurred. For the most part any exchange of eye contact (of the admiration type) between people of the opposite sex will be enjoyable to both parties after the eye contact has finished. Exchange of Factor B is rare.

So here I was after 3 weeks noticing that the way I interacted with girls had now changed. A woman I had been attracted to (from afar) in my office was in the lift with me one day and we had a pleasant bit of banter – I had some sweets – she said “are those for me” in a cheeky way – I answered   “yes – “poison ”with no malice intended”. It was just a bit of male/female banter or flirting which was enjoyable on both our parts. I could tell from her reaction that she had enjoyed the banter, even if you think it was not a very nice comment. Like everything it's not what you say it's the way that you say it. Before acquiring this Factor B I had not had any conversations like this with this particular lady or for that matter any other lady that I liked (from afar) in the office over the last 13 months that I had worked there, though I had wanted to. I just couldn't do it and the reason why I couldn't do it was I had very little Factor B.

So I had a quantity of Factor B. To put an arbitrary amount on it let’s say it was 1500 units of Factor B. Again to be arbitrary let’s say previously to this I only had 100 units of Factor B before I started making eye contact with females in the way I have explained above.

Now I started noticing things happening now that had not happened before I had acquired a relatively substantial amount of Factor B. I could talk to girls a lot better than I ever had before and I started experiencing things I had not experienced before and I was getting more pleasure from females than I had before in terms of interacting with them. This was an actual revelation to me.

NOW BEFORE ANYONE THINKS AFTER READING THIS THAT "WELL ALL I HAVE GOT TO DO IS WALK THROUGH THE CENTRE OF MY CROWDED TOWN AND I WILL BE ABLE TO ACQUIRE FACTOR B" THIS IS VERY UNLIKELY TO HAPPEN. IT ONLY HAPPENED IN MY CASE DUE TO A UNIQUE SET OF CIRCUMSTANCES THAT I HAVE ILLUSTRATED ABOVE AND SOME UNIQUE UNDERSTANDING OF THIS ASPECT OF HUMAN NATURE I.E. EYE CONTACT BETWEEN A MALE AND FEMALE. AS I HAVE SAID BEFORE FOR THE MOST PART PEOPLE'S QUANTITY OF FACTOR B AND FACTOR A LARGELY STAYS UNCHANGED THROUGHOUT SOMEONE'S LIFE ( THOUGH IT MIGHT NOT - BUT THIS IS RARE).

© Copyright England, 19th February 2019      

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



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